The journey started in 2018.
At the time, I named myself Jeremy, after the old, at the time funny but I don't know how I could stand some of his jokes now, British entertainer Jeremy Clarkson - I was obsessed with Top Gear and finished every single episode of it. It was fascinating for the current me to picture me and my dad sitting comfortably in the couch the whole weekend just to watch three slightly misogynistic men driving fancy cars around the world while throwing out dirty jokes; and we will talk about cars and the countries showed up on our 32inch TV, debating on which one to buy and where to visit when that "someday" finally comes. I cannot remember when was the last time we had a fun conversation.
I entered high school in 2017 and the blog started as a place to share my competitive programming experiences. The Olympiad in Informatics (OI) community had a strong online presence and everyone involved were hyper-connected through contests, webinars and blog posts. I started off this blog as a place to share my solutions to somehow stay connected with everybody, but never made it into the mainstream - the real influencers in OI would have thousands of clicks on their new posts meanwhile I would get single digit.
I was never "strong" enough or funny enough to be remembered as someone signification among the tens of thousands of my peers, and I thought a lot about how to accept my mediocrity - I joked about my life being a Sisyphean loop - now I know everything will come to an end.
Being online 24/7 did encouraged me to explore more than coding. I started to write about being insecure and queer as a small-town-kid-in-the-big-city character, about having an silent father and a over anxious mother, and about music.
Richard Russell stole a plane, cruised above the shore over and over again, and crashed into the forest on the little island called Ketron. He told ATC, "I wasn't really planning on landing it."